Memories

Auq 16 2014

The problem with memories is that they're addictive. And my biggest issue is that I live too much in the past.

When I listen to older music it draws me back to a time and a place. When I look at a photo I just instantly remember the emotions or experiences of every moment and pace. When I come to certain places it brings many images in my head – and these things make me don’t want to move on, they make me sit in my bedroom’s corner, listen to my old playlist and think about how happy I was in the past, and think maybe I should fight it but I don’t really want to.

So instead of fighting to get over the memories, I let them win. I quit life – I stopped dancing because it reminds me of the good times my friends and I once had. I stopped running because that was what a few of my pals and I used to do when something bad happened; we would just run and run and run until we’re exhausted and then be able to forget the inner pain. I stopped playing in the rain because it reminds me of how I thought I owned the world when I laughed and ran happily in the rain. Then, I stopped living because it made me feel sad, and hopeless.

But I guess today, I had learnt to let go.

Of course, memories warm us on the inside and make us feel happy but sometimes the pain of them tears us apart. It's true that memories are tricky to let go of but I think it is important to let go of them, and make room for the memories that the future holds because the past is the past; and it cannot be changed.

and although the past can't be changed and it could be viewed as pointless to keep thinking about it, I think it is also important to look back at the past since that is what makes us up. We are all full of experiences and we can use the experiences, mostly mistakes, which we have had to achieve the most out of the present and future that will soon become a memory too.

It has been hard for me to revisit the memories I once had, but as I have found, writing about our deepest pain is often a great way to start healing it. I think the best way often to move on from the past is to formulate a way to make sure you don't set in place the same stepping stones that allowed the last bad thing to happen. It is important to value your memories but don't let the past define you. Memories are either something that we owe forever or something that we've lost forever.

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost

The present is all you ever have. Think about it.